The Terrible Twos
by boyxboyislove
Summary: Au Story involving Young Parents Arthur and Francis are enjoying the joys of Parenthood.   if you liked Happy Fammilly you'll probably love this.  Beta pairing : Spain/Romano


**Aph FF-AU TerribleTwos. P1 2 3**

part 1. Poor momma Eggy.

It had been a bit of a Whirlwind romance. Francis had swept Arthur off his feet. Quite literally, Arthur was not very happy to be suddenly picked up and rushed off onto a his yacht.  
"We can play pirate just like the old days" Francis had joked.

As if a wake up Call, a milk bottle suddenly hit him in the head. Alfred had great aim for a less than one year old. Everything was different now. Arthur was always running around the household trying to keep their two baby boys poop free, clean the bottles and clean the house. Francis did his share by cooking and going to work.  
Arthur sighed and picked up the bottle that now had to be cleaned, he shot a disapproving scowl at Alfred. Mathew was just sitting there quietly waiting for his bottle.

Sometimes Arthur wished that He were the only one. But every now and then Alfred was adorable. Mostly when he blew bubbles and looked up at Francis while scrunching his face. He would sometimes point to a book on the shelf and cry if Francis didn't get the right one but he would laugh when read to him. But after awhile Arthur would forget. Especially when Arthur's head seemed to always be the target of Alfred's bottles .

Arthur was beginning to think that Alfred did not like him. He seemed to be purposely begging him to hold him and then spitting up on his nice dress shirt making him have to change. He was constantly stabbing him with cheesy fries snacks. He was also pouring cranberry juice in his hair. Alfred seemed keen on making every waking hour of Arthur's life hell.

Though Mathew wasn't always a angel either. Arthur was always late to Parties that Francis's good friend ,Antonio ,held because Mathew kept crying when he left the room. He would chew on Arthur's clothes when he was held.

The only one the boys were really cute with was Francis. Their faces lit up as soon as he came in. And when Arthur tried to kiss him hello Alfred's bottle would hit his 'mom' in the nose.

Part 2 : birthday.

Today was a big deal. It was Arthur's birthday. Yet His job wasn't over yet. He still had to wash all the clothes and feed the boys. Francis seemed to have forgotten all about it being his birthday. Arthur had been leaving some pretty obvious clues that this day was special Not including the large red marker he used to circle the date on the calendar.

This morning Arthur had been an cheerful mood for once, he was expecting to be showered with kisses and flowers. But that didn't happen.

"Oh hello Mon Darling... I am very very late. Pardon." France said and he quickly exited the house without even looking at the ash blond Englishman.  
Arthur was so dumbfounded that his reaction was very delayed.

"CURSE THAT FROG Ba-" and then he saw Alfred looking up at him while chewing on his binky.

He sighed grateful he hadn't started saying anything bad that he'd repeat.

Of course he was only 12 months old so he couldn't speak yet but still. Arthur recalled once being embarrassed that a child of his brother Breton said the F word after Arthur had been repeating it all day not knowing the little curly haired boy was watching.

He didn't want to catch Mathew or Alfred speaking like pirates.

Alfred started babbling out of nonsense words while looking at his twin brother. If Arthur didn't know any better they seemed to be holding a conversation. Mathew didn't babble back but he seemed to nod at Alfred. They seemed to have their own little language set up. Sometimes Alfred blinked at Mathew and as if on cue Matty started to fuss.

Arthur sighed as he returned to his cooking pan of eggs and bacon. That was about the only thing he could manage to not burn.

Suddenly the doorbell rang , and then it started ringing over and over again. Arthur growled and stomped to the door. He was still wearing a oven mit when he answered.

Standing there was the Babysitter: Lovino Vargas, a friend of Mr Spain's , who had a bad temper and was a bit too coarse for Arthur's liking. He had a large black leather bag and was wearing a black apron.

"Huh? Lovino? Why are you here?"  
" Mr. Bonnefoy called and told me to come over and cook."  
"Ah..."

Without being given permission, Mr. Vargas entered the house and made a b line for the kitchen. He scowled at the bacon and eggs and pushed it on a back burner casually. He took out the supplies and started cooking. Though when Alfred saw ,he wasn't greeting him. He fussed and tossed a rubber rattle at Lovino's head.  
Lovino turned around with a slightly frustrated expression and picked up the rattle.

"You are not getting this back, little man," he said firmly, as he placed it on the counter. " You can't get your way by hurting people. That's not cool. "  
Arthur had to smile a bit, Lovino was a intimidating man but he seemed to be a good soul. He had made a terrible first impression though.

It was a year ago when Arthur found out he was going to be a father and he needed someone to take care of him. He was feeling very weak and old despite being only 22 or so. So Francis called on all his friends to see if he could get anyone. Gilbert said he couldn't do it because he had his hands full with 'little Germany" (his nickname for the young boy he cared for, Ludwig.).

Spain didn't want to so he sent his 'friend' Lovino over. Arthur had been terrified when a loud scowling Italian man with big muscles and a mustache came over. Over time though he began to see that Lovino was only loud to cover up for how nervous he'd been. He'd never really taken care of a baby before, though he almost raised his younger brother Felicano all by himself.

Alfred seemed to like him almost instantly and always wanted him to sing to him and hold him.

'Even a complete stranger got on better with the babies than me.' Arthur thought darkly. He sighed and took the opportunity to sit down on the plush loveseat in the living room.

"Hey turn the TV on! I'm missing Soccer!" Lovino ordered from the kitchen. Arthur frowned but did so. He always wanted it loud so he could hear the announcers.  
Apparently at his house almost all the time, Lovino and Felicano watched the telemondo channels and BBC network. While Arthur liked watching the Food network and attempting to cook the meals on the shows. Of course it never turned out right.

Suddenly Arthur heard Alfred crying and Lovino went over to cheer him. Arthur sighed and assumed he'd stop , but after 10 mins he was still crying.  
Arthur got up with a grunt and went inside the kitchen.

"Is everyone OK?"  
"NO! He wont stop it. I tried everything that usually works!"  
Arthur looked at his son and then sighed.  
"Hey now.. what's all this..? " he asked coming up to him and making a face.

Alfred looked up right in the middle of a wail and smiled. He laughed and reached out his little chubby hands singling he wanted up.

Reluctantly Arthur picked him up and braced himself for what usually followed. Poking, hair pulling or spitting up peas all over him.

What actually did happened left Arthur in shock. Alfred continued to smile and then cuddled his head on Arthur's chest. He kicked his little legs playfully and smiled up at Arthur while scrunching his mouth a bit. It was the cutest thing Arthur had ever seen.

"d'aw... omg that's so precious." Lovino chirped looking all loveydovy suddenly. Then he rushed to his bag and got the camera. He managed to get it on film before Alfred stopped.

He resumed his calm stare at Arthur like "OK now put me back down and feed me some milk.".

Arthur smiled and placed him next to Mathew. He felt so happy he leaned over and kissed Aflred's bald little head.

Alfred was still bald after 12 months while Mathew was born with a full head of hair. It was obvious he took after Francis.

"Hey I got a text from Francis after I sent him that" Lovino said showing off his nice shinny cellphone.  
' That is simply fabulous. Mon Darling Eggy is getting on with that adorable little troublemaker? '  
there was more but Lovino quickly took it away.  
Suspicious. That was very very suspicious.

"Ok! Shoo now. You can change it to whatever you want just stay out of here okay?"

After awhile the food was ready and Lovino let Arthur back in the kitchen.  
It was a delicious looking meal of 'spicy Romano with artichokes and bow pasta'. Arthur really loved this dish.

Lovino insisted that they eat it now in front of the Tv. Arthur had felt like taping the soccer on his dvr before he watched the soap opera on lifetime. So they watched it while they ate. Alfred wanted some too but he couldn't eat solid food yet.

Arthur was rather touched that Lovino made a artichokes and tomato baby food for the boys.

Lovino blushed and muttered that Felciano always wanted him to make his food so he learned how to make his own baby food.

Arthur had told Lovino he was the youngest of 5 older brothers who all seemed to dislike him back when he was a child. Now that he was older they seemed to have lightened up a bit. Though they also had a adopted brother who was much younger now. Francis had no siblings but he had always hung over with him and his family. They used to play pirate and all gang up on Arthur. It only quit when Arthur got seriously injured by falling off the tree house when they were playing like he had to walk the plank. It had not been a very high tree but that game became banned after that.

Arthur wondered if Mathew and Alfred would get along when they were old enough to talk to each other for real. Sometimes when they were put by each other Alfred would poke Mathew in the head until he cried. Other times Mathew would kick Alfred away and chew on his binky.

Today though they were sitting by each other being very civil and watching the TV intently. Aflred had practically insisted that Alfred sit there and have both of them in his lap.

They usually hated him picking them up or begin too close to them. Arthur was beginning to think they knew it was his birthday.

That was a silly thought, Arthur told himself. How could they know about a birthday or what it was? He'd forgotten that he was ranting to himself all this morning in front of them. Alfred had glanced at Mathew with a slightly puzzled expression. Lovino had told them about Birthdays yesterday by reading a book on it.  
Little Al yawned softly and leaned on Arthur's arm. Mathew felt sleepy just watching him yawn and did the same.

"Aw… I guess you two want a nap." Arthur said and carefully got up while holding them both. However when he put them down in their cribs that them up woke up and started them crying. Arthur was puzzled and picked them both up. They instantly resumed sleeping in his arms. Arthur felt a smile creep over his lips, "You two are so silly…" he muttered softly. He made his way to the rocking chair, hand painted by their father with moons and stars and a cow for some reason. The Babysitter poked his head in and smiled mysteriously as he quickly went back to the living room.

Part 3 : secret plots.  
"You should see it , they are being so nice today." Lovino said in as hushed a voice as he could manage.

"That's wonderful, Lovey, I'm glad that you explained birthdays to them."  
"Don't call me that, Froggie."

Francis let out a lighthearted chuckle. He loved teasing the young Italian man over his name, He'd practically watched him grownup so he felt a brotherly sense of duty to pick on him. He was always over when Antonio was helping Lovino raise Feliciano. There was a time when he thought he was in love with Antonio but he quickly realized that it was Arthur that had stolen his heart away. Lovino didn't seem very happy when he let it slip out. He didn't talk to Francis for a whole year, infact the only reason he started talking was because he was babysitting the children.

Francis was glad to have him speaking to him now.

"He seemed to be getting wise to us."  
"Ah well, he is a clever man."

Arthur had snuck in with the twins to get a snack and overheard this. 'Wise to us'. There was a brief moment when Arthur's brain jumped to the conclusion that there was an affair. But his rational side quickly discredited it. Lovino was very vocal about liking Mr Antonio. He had spoken with Arthur many times about how to get Antonio to step up like Francis did with him. Even Though Francis obviously loved him, Arthur had been the one to propose.

Also there was the fact that Lovino didn't really like Francis. Arthur had become aware that the young Italian seemed to absolutely despise the tall blond French man. It was surprising that Lovino even spoke to him. Though there was always a hint of distain in his voice when they conversed. Even in the current conversation, Lovino's voice was very bitter sounding.

"Alfred can already kick his legs high up in the air."

Arthur could imagine how disappointed Francis was to have missed that.

"Mathew is still very quiet. He hardly makes any noises. It's so weird it's like he's invisible. I forgot he was there twice now."

Arthur smiled and glanced at the sleeping Mathew. To his momma, Mathew was not invisible. He was just very introverted. Every now and then he looked up at Alfred like he was speaking.

Arthur went back to the babies' room and sat back down on the rocking chair. He wondered what they were talking about on the phone. But he quickly felt himself drifting off and sleeping.

When he awoke it was to Francis musical voice calling his name.  
"Arthur? My darling? Wake up."  
"Uhnn… Francis?"  
"Yes? Did you sleep well?"

Francis asked with no ill tone in his voice. He gently pushed the bangs away from Arthur's eyes.

"Erm…. The twins.."  
Arthur didn't feel the extra weight in his arms anymore.  
"Lovino took them to the park for awhile, Feliciano and Antonio are with him." , Francis explained before he stole a kiss or two.

It was nice to be able to kiss his husband without being struck with some baby toy. Alfred seemed to get jealous when they did it in front of him.  
"Come on now, I'm sure your hungry." Francis said softly as he took Arthur's slender hand is his larger one.

Arthur felt a blush form across his face, when was the last time they had held hands?

When they entered the living room the lights were all off, The room was lit only by candlelight. There were bouquets of flower in vases around the table.

"Lovey set this up for me, wasn't that nice of him?" Francis said with a sweet smile.

Lovino was a florist after all. He and Antonio did own a flower arrangement and candy boutique. Arthur touched a petal on the daisies and smiled.

"Are you apologizing for this morning?" He asked with faux anger in his voice.  
Francis chuckled softly. He wasn't fooled at all.

" Yes. I'm sorry I didn't hug you I was trying to get to Antonio's so we could plan this out."  
"Ah… well I guess I forgive you then." Arthur said as he hugged his husband around the neck.

Arthur loved it when Francis waited on his like this, even if it was only every now and then. He felt overwhelmed with happiness when he saw what was for dinner: Beef Wellington, Shepard's pie and for dessert blackberry pie with vanilla ice cream.

Francis didn't really like making English-Irish food but he would gladly make it for the love of his life.

Arthur gobbled it all up like he'd been sustaining from food for months. It was partially true, Alfred kept him extremely busy: feeding him and picking up things he threw far away.

Still Lovino made sure to let him eat meals while he distracted Alfred with some silly faces. Arthur didn't have the heart to tell Lovino that in all honesty he didn't like Italian food that much.  
"You out did yourself again." Arthur said as he tried to regain his dinner table manners and clean up the mess on his face.

"I can see that." Francis said with a broad smile. " You really love that down-home food don't you?"

Arthur was adorable to him when he was trying to act like an English gentleman. Francis knew full well that Arthur was a punk-kid through and through. He liked the young English hipster version of Arthur much better.

" It's like what my older brother, Eoin, made us growing up. Though his never tasted that seasoned."

"I used onions and some bell peppers in the Shepard's pie."

"Ah… I should share that with him but…" Arthur trailed off, a frown threatening to ruin his mood. His brothers didn't take cooking advice from him, all things considered.

"I'm sure they would if you cooked it for them. I'll show you how to do it later. Cheer up."  
Arthur seemed unsure about it.

"You know I got the recipe for these dishes directly from Eoin ,Breton and Carroll."

Arthur nearly dropped his fork. He could almost understand Breton turning over his recipe but Eoin and Carrol? They always super secretive about the family recipes. Even when He, their own little brother, asked for them they would deny him with a smug attitude as if he was going to ruin them.

"Your brothers adore you, Artry." Francis said gently as he took up Arthur's hands.

"We all love you very much. Even little Alfred loves you."

"He has a most peculiar way of showing it."

Francis had to laugh at that; didn't Arthur recognize the same hot-n-cold personality he had in his son? Alfred only threw things at him to get his attention. He only did all those things to get him to watch him, Arthur obviously held Mathew more than Alfred; mostly because it was such a hassle.

Even when Francis held Aflred, he would fidget.

"I suppose so but it's true that he loves you."

All of a sudden there was a loud clambering coming from the door, with a sigh Francis went to answer it.

When he did, he just had to stare at what he saw. It would have been amusing if he didn't feel slightly responsible.

Lovino was standing there soaking wet and sneezing up a storm, Antonio was holding Alfred who was wrapped in a towel and Matthew was in Feliciano's arms. It was pouring down outside.

"Oh my…" Arthur had come over to see too. He quickly moved Francis back and pulled Lovino inside.

"I'll make some coffee."

"…And biscuits" was all Lovino could manage. His voice was unusually quiet and tired.

"The twins didn't get too wet, Lovi made sure of that." Antonio told them with a loving smile.

Lovino suddenly was blushing and it had nothing to do with his cold. "Shuddup…" he demanded weakly as he attempted to smack Antonio's arm.

Soon everyone was warm and comfortably sitting in the living room. Lovino was isolated in a self-imposed attempt to not get the twins sick. But since Alfred really wanted The Italian man to entertain him so, Antonio was filling in. Arthur had never heard Mr. Antonio's singing voice before and was enamored by its sound.

"You have a handsome singing voice." Arthur complemented him, only to be shot with two cold looks from Lovino and Francis. Arthur giggled and then patted Francis's hand. "Of course yours is my favorite." He added.

Alfred saw them and then fussed while holding his hands out to Arthur. "Hn… Ah… okay… just don't ruin my clothes Alfred." He said taking his son into his arms.

He bounced Alfred on his knee much to Alfred's enjoyment. He wondered why he'd never tried that before. Eoin had told him once that it was what Arthur liked as a baby.

Arthur looked around quietly at all the people who had worked hard to make today the best day for him. He wondered if it was possible to thank them.


End file.
